Dreaming

It’s been one of those restless days, where I want everything at once. Dreaming about staying home with my babies (something that’s finally coming true…). Dreaming about our would-be farm with veggies and chickens and goats and cows, freshness radiating from our table, honest and hard work driving our day. Dreaming about the school I want to start. Dreaming about the degree I really ought to get if I want to start that school. Dreaming about that (those) university(ies) where I’d like to get that degree (UMF, Antioch, Harvard…). Dreaming about ditching our house. Dreaming about revamping it completely. Dreaming about dreaming about dreaming. 

The hubs took both kids out with his friend to the store, so I wandered about our yard a bit aimlessly, trying to sort out my toughts. It’s less than two acres, but it’s depth is tremendous. The previous owner was a prolific gardner, but unfortunately was unable to keep up the yard a few years before we bought the house, so it’s a daunting piece of land in terms of care. The yard is almost like an outdoor house, an old one, with many heavily detailed rooms. 

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No, I may be dreaming a great many things, some that may come true, others that may not, but at least I lay my head here, in my sweet little house in the woods, in my sweet, sweet life. 

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My Pursuit of Happiness

It’s nearly nine o’clock at night on a Sunday and I’m exhausted. But it’s one of those pleasant exhausted feelings – that sort of mentally blissed out way of being.

For two days I’ve been stuffed full of every kind of information about birth, women, and the feelings they so strongly feel (both physical and mental during birth) during the amazing even that we so simply call birth.

After talking and listening and doing like I haven’t in over a year (the last time I sat in a college classroom), I feel a strength and readiness to begin to pursue more strongly a dream I had been keeping at an arms length. There is so, so much I still want to learn and to see, some things I need to think about, and my future, as it stands now, seems fuzzy and unsure, but it’s all good. It’s like the future ahead of me is hard to make out because it’s clouded or foggy, but so bright it will take just a bit for my eyes to fully focus.

Let me come out of the vagueness of above and give it to you straight. I spend this weekend learning the beginnings of what I need to know to properly attend a woman as a doula (a labor support professional – a person who helps a woman through labor and birth). The workshop I attended this weekend is one step towards becoming a certified doula through the organization DONA. I have a few more steps to tackle, but one of the largest is attending three births.

And this is where I say that if you are in Maine (or know me personally) and would be interested in having a doula attend your birth, my services will FREE while I remain uncertified, because I am training. This does NOT mean I will be any less effective than a certified doula. If you or someone you know is interested, please contact me (either comment below with a way to contact you OR contact me via Facebook (if you know me in real life).

I also have a couple of other workshops left to attend and some reading to do, but I’m thrilled this workshop is what I did first. It has given me a confidence and thrill to see what I could be doing not just as a hobby, but as a job. I do not yet know where this path will lead, if it’s a minor detour or the beginning of a lifelong journey, but it is exciting and beautiful all the same.

I know I’m starting to sound like one of those goofy New Age people (and maybe I’m slowly morphing into someone like that), but sometimes those over the top cliches are what best describe what you’re experiencing.

I’m just happy.

And I wanted you to know.