Dreaming

It’s been one of those restless days, where I want everything at once. Dreaming about staying home with my babies (something that’s finally coming true…). Dreaming about our would-be farm with veggies and chickens and goats and cows, freshness radiating from our table, honest and hard work driving our day. Dreaming about the school I want to start. Dreaming about the degree I really ought to get if I want to start that school. Dreaming about that (those) university(ies) where I’d like to get that degree (UMF, Antioch, Harvard…). Dreaming about ditching our house. Dreaming about revamping it completely. Dreaming about dreaming about dreaming. 

The hubs took both kids out with his friend to the store, so I wandered about our yard a bit aimlessly, trying to sort out my toughts. It’s less than two acres, but it’s depth is tremendous. The previous owner was a prolific gardner, but unfortunately was unable to keep up the yard a few years before we bought the house, so it’s a daunting piece of land in terms of care. The yard is almost like an outdoor house, an old one, with many heavily detailed rooms. 

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No, I may be dreaming a great many things, some that may come true, others that may not, but at least I lay my head here, in my sweet little house in the woods, in my sweet, sweet life. 

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New Year Goals

Okay, I make resolutions every year. I make a big fuss over it. I get super excited about it, make a plan, charts, lists, and blog about it. Usually it falls pretty flat (though I will pat myself on the back with following through with my weight loss goals from last year). I am definitely one of those people who loves to plan, plan, plan, but has horrible execution, most likely because my expectations are waaaaaay to high. 

But I still keep doing it. 

I’m not entirely sure what’s wrong with me, because here I am, ready to jump in again, ready to fill my plate up with hopes and dreams, even when I have a pretty huge event looming ahead at the beginning of this upcoming year. 

I always feel like it will be different this time, but maybe, with a little bit more hindsight, it will be different. 

Here are my goals (let’s not even call them resolutions) for the upcoming year: 

Start the switch to whole/real foods (emphasis on the word “start”). I need to pick one area to start eliminating or changing what we’re eating and just do it. Once I feel confident in that area, then maybe move on to something else. We’ll see where I am a year from now. 

Eliminate one hour of screen time for E. and myself (the hubs, too, if he’ll get on board). I feel like we don’t watch a ton of T.V. in our house, but I can feel it starting to take over. I’m going to give myself a break in the first few months that the baby is here, but once summer vacation hits, I’m hoping to subtly remove some screen time for E. and myself (this means laptop/tablet time for me). 

Read one longer “chapter book” to E. I want to start looking up good books that will be more or less on her level. She’s a smart cookie and we did read Charlotte’s Web this year. I’d like to find something else she’d really enjoy, too. 

Read at least two books that are just fun for me. Minuscule goal, I know, but I have such a hard time reading for pleasure now. Hopefully the two books will turn into twenty, but considering I have a new baby on the way, I’m not holding my breath. I might have to try to reach this goal in the next few weeks!

Write more. It’s my perennial goal. Maybe this will be the year. Ordinarily I’d need a way to measure how much “more” would be, but at this point, writing anything on a regular basis besides blog posts would be more. 

Play more. I’m crappy at playing. Really. I need to spend more time with E. just having fun, unstructured time. I have found in the past that I can take a half hour, at least, out of our evenings at home and play a game, play with dolls, coloring, or reading extra books. I hope as I make more time for play, the easier it will become. 

Reintroduce exercise to my lifestyle. I’ve been really crappy about working out through this pregnancy. Granted, I move around a lot when I’m at home and at work, but I had hoped to keep up with walking and working out like I had prior to getting pregnant. I want bring it back into my life at least to the point it was before I got pregnant, if not more so. 

Maintain a cleaning schedule. I suppose if I’m going to maintain a cleaning schedule I need to create one. And I kind of had and was keeping up with it up until the onset of Thanksgiving and whatnot. I might have to throw it up on my calendar again and get it going once more. 

So, there you have it. I think it might seem like a lot, and maybe it is, but I also feel like the goals are vague enough that I can feel good about them even if minimal amounts of work actually gets done. We’ll see what happens…